🎭 The Daily Comedy Roundup

September 9th, 2025 – Because Reality Is Already Absurd Enough

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🎤 Trump’s Latest Career Move: Professional Host

THE STORY

President Trump announced he will now host the upcoming Kennedy Center Honors ceremony, proving that even the most powerful office in the world apparently comes with career counseling services.

Stephen Colbert’s Take: The Late Show host didn’t hold back, delivering what might be his sharpest material yet before his show gets the axe. “You’re the most powerful man on Earth. What are you doing? You’re the most powerful man, and all you want is a hosting gig? Those don’t last as long as they used to, buddy!” he quipped, pointing to himself in a brilliant bit of self-deprecating humor about his own show’s cancellation.

🎭 My Take: Nothing says “leader of the free world” quite like desperately wanting to announce award winners between commercial breaks. I mean, at least when Caesar wanted entertainment, he built a whole Colosseum. Trump just wants to hold a microphone and read off index cards. Progress!

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⚔️ The War of Late-Night Egos Continues

THE STORY

Bill Maher is calling out his fellow late-night hosts, claiming Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, John Oliver, and Jimmy Kimmel “very predictably” parrot “whatever MSNBC was saying” on their shows.

Maher’s Complaint: He nostalgically recalled when “Letterman, Leno, you know, Carson…they never told you their politics.”

🎭 My Take: Bill Maher complaining about other people being too political is like a fish complaining about water being too wet. This is the same guy who named his show “Real Time with Bill Maher,” not “Neutral Time with Moderate Bill.” Maybe he’s just jealous that the others are better at hiding their bias behind actual jokes instead of just yelling at the camera for an hour.

Also, Carson never told us his politics? The man literally had Richard Nixon on to play piano while Watergate was happening. That’s not neutrality, that’s just really good booking.

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🤝 The Late-Night Solidarity Movement

THE HEARTWARMING BIT

When CBS announced Colbert’s cancellation, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, and Andy Cohen all showed up to The Late Show to support Stephen Colbert. It was like the Avengers, but for people who peaked in their 40s making fun of politicians.

THE REALITY CHECK

Jimmy Kimmel had a good excuse for not showing up; he’s been on holiday for some time with guest hosts leading his show. Because nothing says “solidarity” quite like sending your thoughts and prayers via vacation proxy.

🎭 My Take: I love that these millionaire comedians formed a support group. “Hi, I’m Stephen, and I make fun of politicians for a living.” “Hi Stephen!” It’s like AA, but for people addicted to monologue applause breaks.

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📺 Speaking of Kimmel…

Remember when Keith Olbermann and Jimmy Kimmel had that legendary feud? Kimmel once said at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner:

“Keith Olbermann burned more bridges than the Arsonist of Madison County” and “He has more pink slips than Marcus Bachmann.”

Those were simpler times when our biggest political comedy controversy was whether a cable news host was too difficult to work with, not whether democracy would survive the next news cycle.

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🌍 Meanwhile, In the Real World…

While comedians fight over who’s too political, actual politics continues to be utterly ridiculous:

• Ethiopia opened Africa’s largest hydropower project, the Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam, which sounds impressive until you realize it’s causing alarm in neighboring countries. Nothing says “renewable energy” quite like regional destabilization.
• A Michigan judge dismissed criminal charges against 15 people who signed false certificates saying Donald Trump won the state’s electoral votes in 2020. Apparently, election fraud is like a participation trophy now – everyone gets to go home.
• The U.S. likely added 900,000 fewer jobs than reported in the past year. In related news, my New Year’s resolution to “exercise more” was also revised downward by about 900,000 sit-ups.

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🎯 The Bottom Line

In a world where the President wants to host award shows, comedy hosts are feuding over who’s more partisan, and actual news keeps getting weirder than satire, maybe we should all just embrace the chaos.

At least Stephen Colbert is going out swinging. When Trump called Chicago a “hellhole,” Colbert’s response was simply: “Two words: F-ck you.” Sometimes the most honest comedy is just saying what everyone’s thinking.

Besides, if hosting gigs really don’t last as long as they used to, maybe Trump should consider a backup career. I hear there’s an opening at a certain social media platform that rhymes with “X marks the spot where credibility went to die.”

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That’s your daily dose of comedy chaos. Remember, if you’re not laughing, you’re probably paying attention too closely.